Margo's Blog

..and it’s not what you think…. that’s how I referred to my surgery…. de-cluttering, removing of things not being used, Spring cleaning.

It’s been almost 2 weeks since my surgery and I’m home recuperating.. slowly, but getting better each day. I relish the small milestones, my first shower, putting on my socks, making my own breakfast and able to sit in this chair long enough to write in this blog. I still am tender and sore, still hard to get up out of my chair, still hurts to laugh, sneeze or cough and still hard to roll in bed… but even all that is improving.  A bed pillow across the abdomen helps to hold things in when coughing or sneezing and acts as a great barrier for my uber-exuberant dogs who want to jump and sit in my lap…. no!! bad dog!!

Bob has been wonderful being my nurse and caretaker, but I sense he’s getting tired of the fetching and I’m getting tired of him doing it. I want to be able to do for myself already. My friends have been amazing in keeping their distance  (at my request) as I hate the hovering.  I tried really really hard in keeping a positive attitude through this…. at finding the news of the cancer,  during the surgery and hospital stay and recuperation at home.  Making jokes, keeping a stiff upper lip and all that.. mostly because I hated the pity, and the ‘sorry’ eyes. I couldn’t however, keep it all in much longer and last Sunday I had a minor meltdown. It hit me how very afraid I was, how the cancer scared me especially since my mom died from it, how the thought of surgery frightened me and the possibility of  not being there for my family.  I was terrified, but still put on a good face and kept it together.  Because that’s what I do.

I don’t have a lot of memories of the actual surgery.. as it should be. I was in the pre-surgical room getting all the vitals taken, the nurse asking me those important questions, like “Am I pregnant”… yeah, I’m in there for a hysterectomy… duh…. I guess it was something the anesthesiologists needed to know. And speaking of them, it took two of those guys to find an artery to put in a stint.. lots of poking around from one arm to the next. That was  in case I needed an emergency transfusion, I was ready to go. (blood type B+, just in case) . I kind of resembled a marionette with tubes and strings coming out of both arms.The other arm had the IV with the knock out drug.

I remember being wheeled down a very long hallway and into the operating room and coming face to face with the surgical robot, Mona. I remember saying something to the doctors/nurses there and then nothing until I woke in recovery with people buzzing all round. But even that was a faint memory… I think. I don’t remember going from there to my room, but I woke up in the room with a nurse and Bob there. The next couple of hours was fuzzy.. in and out of sleep being pumped with pain meds and I really hated that feeling.  It wasn’t until the next day that I was up and walking the hall and then walking to the bathroom… huge accomplishment.  The first night I slept in the bed, but by the second night I was so uncomfortable,  I spent most of the night in either of the two chairs in the room. Needless to say, I was so happy to get home.

The surgery went well, so I hear, it lasted longer than the doctors thought and the tumor was bigger than they anticipated. It was 6cm by 8cm and had reached into the cervix, so they removed that too.  During the procedure I was on a bed tilted with my head downwards which cause fluids to flow into my head and apparently my face was so swollen, it resembled a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade balloon. Fortunately, after a week , my face and hands returned to their normal state and I was happy to get my jewelry and wedding rings back on.

At the end of the month I see the gyno/oncologist again for my  post-op follow up and he’ll determine whether I will need to go the radiation route.  Pathology reports from the lymph nodes showed negative for more cancer but because of its size and location, it was considered grade 2 and makes me a likely candidate. We shall see.

I’m just happy to be home and have this behind me.

Recently:

• Back to Middle School
• Good bye 2011
• Long ago and far away
• Continuing Chaos
• what used to be the shower
• …and so the demolition begins
• Introducing……..
• Home for the Holidays
• It’s coming… the Holidays are coming!
• Artful Weekend(s)